The sky turns to fire. The light invades my eyes, and the darkness is scoured from my mind. the memory of that endless night fades like a bad dream. I'm alive once more. I remember my name, my face. I can know joy, anger, excitement again. the world is once more living and bright. I rise and greet the day, and those within it, and i find myself able to go on living. Life is once more what it should be, and I don't think of her at all.
until that Abyss takes me again
Monday, July 23, 2012
Eldritch Heartbreak Prose
Sorry for lack of updates. Although, you're probably just reading this through an archive, in which case, disregard any apologies. Also, how's the future?
Why can't i get her off my mind? well, that's not the problem, i'm fine throughout the day, and most nights. It's just when my walls seem to tighten around my chest and crush the life out of me; when the shadows seem to dance, and the darkness whispers terrible truths into my ears; when i'm the very last person alive, and so very, very cold and alone. That's when she fills my mind.
Memories of a time of warmth and laughter, light and lightness. A time when i was loved, not by friends who love me for my mind, or by family who love me for my blood, but by a partner; one who loves my body and my soul. These memories are so beautiful that they even lift my spirits, for a short time. But, these memories don't stop there, however much i might wish them to.
The love gives way, once more, to possessiveness, jealousy, anger, then finally, i'm heartbroken once again. The sweetness and light of the earlier visions only makes the abyss i'm mired in that much more crushing, bleak, and hopeless. The cycle repeats itself, joy tainted by the knowledge of what's to come giving way to blackest despair, deepened by the memory of what i had, spiraling down and down, until i can no longer breath, my vision swims, and i would gladly leap from this world. i'm swept down to a dark realm, where i've forgotten my name, and lost my face, and there is no-one to comfort me.
i wander, an eternity of darkness, an empty shell, blind in my sorrow.
Why can't i get her off my mind? well, that's not the problem, i'm fine throughout the day, and most nights. It's just when my walls seem to tighten around my chest and crush the life out of me; when the shadows seem to dance, and the darkness whispers terrible truths into my ears; when i'm the very last person alive, and so very, very cold and alone. That's when she fills my mind.
Memories of a time of warmth and laughter, light and lightness. A time when i was loved, not by friends who love me for my mind, or by family who love me for my blood, but by a partner; one who loves my body and my soul. These memories are so beautiful that they even lift my spirits, for a short time. But, these memories don't stop there, however much i might wish them to.
The love gives way, once more, to possessiveness, jealousy, anger, then finally, i'm heartbroken once again. The sweetness and light of the earlier visions only makes the abyss i'm mired in that much more crushing, bleak, and hopeless. The cycle repeats itself, joy tainted by the knowledge of what's to come giving way to blackest despair, deepened by the memory of what i had, spiraling down and down, until i can no longer breath, my vision swims, and i would gladly leap from this world. i'm swept down to a dark realm, where i've forgotten my name, and lost my face, and there is no-one to comfort me.
i wander, an eternity of darkness, an empty shell, blind in my sorrow.
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